My first SSB

After getting admitted in Maharaja Agrasen College, I was looking forward to college life and I was going make my impression strong and long lasting in my class, I was going to study enough so that firstly I have a good image amongst teachers. 2 months into the college, I was in class, one day and one of my classmate Harshit Nagpal was telling somebody that NDA written result was declared, I heard him say so; he had downloaded the result pdf on which all the selected roll nos. were published and since I had also appeared for the NDA written exam and I wanted to know my result too, I called Prashant to know my roll number and after that I went up to Harshit and requested him to check if my roll number was there in the result list. He checked my result and said that my roll number was not in the list, I could not believe that when he said so, I myself crossed check with him and again we didn’t find mine roll number in the list. I was not expecting this I thought I’d easily clear that test; my maths exam was very good I did 90% of the total questions correctly and in second paper I got English right and did pretty well in the general awareness part as well. Only thing that was going through my mind was how would I going to tell about the result to my father; I had said to him that I did well in exam. I came home from the college, till then I had not told anyone about the result. In the evening I wanted to check my result once again as I still could not digest that I did not make through. I opened chachu’s laptop and was again looking for my roll no. in the list. Guess what! I saw my roll no. in the list I just could not believe this too, I had checked thoroughly in college also, how come this be? I again matched my roll no. with the one I saw and yes! It was same, this was real and I made it to the first SSB interview of my life. I told chachu about the result and later he had informed the entire family. Chachu already started talking about me clearing SSB interview and becoming commissioned officer in the army, well it’s not just me who dreams in my family, whole family is pretty much the same.

A month later I got an email from Bhopal Selection Centre regarding my SSB schedule, it was on 23^rd of September 2013. I had to report at MCO, Bhopal Railway Station on September 23 at 1400 hrs. SSB call letter also contained details like what all documents to be carried to the Selection Centre, what is the selection procedure and how it carries out, and what all clothing to be carried and dress code for the five day interview procedure. I told my father about it, back then I had no idea about the SSB interview and father thought that it would be better if I undertake SSB coaching before appearing for SSB. I went to Balnoi academy, one of the renowned coaching for defence aspirants. There I underwent classes on different topics such as interview skills, psychology, ground tasks. Group discussion etc. I did okay in the coaching, when I was mock interviewed in the Balnoi academy, they would give a rating card on which they would write your interview performance, your advantages and weaknesses. My rating card was full of weaknesses like lacking confidence, poor communication skill, nervous, unaware and on and on. I was disappointed after seeing that card as I also happened to see a card of a guy which also depicted good qualities, there was this guy, Toofan Singh Chauhan who was with me in the coaching it was his rating card I just told you about. At first I thought of him just as normal average guy, but after seeing his card I changed what I thought of him. I am telling you about him because he went on to join me in Bhopal as well, his interview date was same as mine at Bhopal. We will talk about that a little later. So I completed 8 days of my coaching and I was just a weak away from the reporting date.

So, it was September 22, the day of my departure; back then I was new to travelling alone as I had never travelled from one place to another alone. So this time chachu was taking me to Bhopal for my SSB. Our train left the nizamuddin railway station around 2300 hrs and we were scheduled to arrive in Bhopal by 1000 hrs the next day i.e. the day of reporting. We reached Bhopal on time and we headed straight to the place we were to gather. I back then was a pretty raw, innocent, scared in a city I knew nothing about but at the same time I was assured by the chachu’s presence. Soon we saw some boys with big trolly bags and crew cut standing in far, at once I knew they were SSB boys like me. Before I joined them, chachu got me shaving cream and razor for I was going to shave for the first time in my life.

Now chachu bid me good luck and left me as he went looking for some accommodation for the stay for he was to stay till my screening result and if I cleared stage 1, he would leave for delhi without me otherwise with me. So later that morning I went up to boys I saw standing and joined them and here I again saw Toofan Singh Chauhan; I recognised him at first and he did also; In coaching, he had seen me perform well in ground tasks so I did not need to do much to start a conversation. We all were introducing ourselves to each other. In SSB when you meet other chaps coming for the interview these are the normal questions we ask, we ask about entry we are appearing for, how many attempts, where are we coming from. All this conversation happens in English mostly, this is the best thing I love about SSBs, people as soon as they reach the station their English mode turns on, even the most introvert boy who do not know much of an English would not hesitate and would try and speak the best English he could possibly do. So we were all waiting for a bus from army which would take us to the selection centre. Meanwhile we were standing in the haphazard way talking giggling sharing experiences and I was knew to this environment I had never been alone out in any stranger city, so I was like, a boy with stars in his eyes listening and learning and at times speaking on the topics he thought he could speak on. Toofan was an extrovert he was centre of attraction he would crack jokes and talk some adultery and would often evoke laughter. After waiting for about an hour, a military bus arrived, it had us boarded and we were all on the way to selection centre. I was scared and dreaded the strangeness of everything.

Yeah, we reached Selection Centre in half an hour and soon we were asked to fall in and keep call letters in the hand, call letters were checked we were allotted dormitory so that we can keep bags and relax for a while. It was now 1630 hrs and we were to carry our documents to this big hall which people there called it as testing hall. Documents were verified and we filled forms like identification form and travelling allowance form, we were given reimbursement of our AC 3 tier travel both up and down and also one small card we filled, SSBs guys would know. We were given Chest numbers and we wore them right there. We were briefed about the whole procedure of SSB and the code of conduct while you stay in the selection centre. They told us about the routine and first stage of testing which was to follow the next day. By then it was almost 2000 hrs and we came back to our dormitory and soon it was dinner time and we needed food like beggars. We were hungry and we ate till our neck. We came back to our barracks and were lying on our bed and were chattering. The next morning we were to get up at 0400 hrs as breakfast would start by 0500 hrs, lights would go off by 2200 hrs every night and we would sleep early and get up even earlier. We were all living the life of cadets, I for that matter have always been early morning guy so it was not a big deal for me.

Next morning, we woke up by 0400 hrs, we all rushed to the wash rooms, got ready in time and had breakfast by the 0515 hrs. We were asked to keep ours bags ready in case those of who do not make it to the second stage would have to depart then itself from the selection centre and a bus from selection will take them back to railway station and leave. We had ours bags ready and we proceeded towards testing hall on the call of CHM. Soon our stage 1 testing started and we took test like officers intelligence rating both verbal and non-verbal, later we took picture perception and discussion test(PPDT). In PPDT the picture shown was very blurred and I could make out a big water tank, so I made a story around a village boy who with his efforts solves the drinking water problem causing deaths in his village. After listening to other’s stories I thought my story was just good enough, my average story was followed by even worse narration and I thought I screwed the Stage 1 and my chances to next stage was very bleak. After completion of stage 1, results were awaited and I was already thinking about journey back to delhi with chachu. Meanwhile, we had lunch and got our travelling allowance. By this time it was 1300 hrs, we were to fall in for the results of stage 1 and I made through the screening, when that officer called my chest number, I was literally surprised and happy at the same time. Soon we were asked to come to a hall for stage 2 documentation and formalities. Those who did not make a cut were asked to leave. We completed stage 2 formalities and were briefed about further course of selection. After doing all of it we came back to our barracks, this time roommates changed and I knew I was to stay with them for next four days. We were six of us; me, Sagar, Divyaraj, and three more guys whose names I’ve have forgotten. I remember how much fun it was; we would do every kind of nonsense, but I was enjoying it thoroughly.

Now for next three days psychological test, ground tasks day 1, ground task day 2 happened respectively I performed much below par and I knew my chances were thin and this time no magic would save me like stage 1. It was my first SSB I did not know much about anything. My general awareness was bad, I could not speak well and I dreaded English. But apart from testing part I had a ball there. I met some really good, confident chaps hailing from prestigious RIMC. I knew about RIMC and its status as back in 2008 I had also appeared for RIMC but I could not clear written exam. I remember their names still; Taral, Divyaraj, Mani Shankar, and Shivam they were all amazing. I had decided to be with them from day 1 and learn whatever I can in those days. We would discuss about their RIMC life and my school life. We would play truth and dare and then giggling would go endlessly. It was last day and there they call it the Conference Day and when I went inside the conference room, I was scared and intimidated as I had never seen that many officers in army uniform sitting on a round table in front of me. My interviewing officer asked me about my stay and any suggestions I wanted to give, I said that stay was very good and I didn’t give any suggestions. An hour later, results were announced and as expected I did not clear the first SSB of my life. I was disappointed? Yes I was coz 14 boys cleared it, all RIMC chaps were through and some boys like me also made it to the prestigious NDA. Then I was feeling bad and disappointed and I was damning myself. But form there on I made up my mind that I ain’t stopping here and I will come again better prepared and will try to crack it.

After that day, I went on give SSBs after SSBs and till now I have given 12 of them, I have been to Allahabad thrice, Bhopal four time, Coimbtore twice, Vizag once, Bangluru once. I am not giving up, not at this point after coming so far. I shall crack SSB that my heart says to me and I shall do it. Do it for my family, do it for everyone who doubted me and most importantly do it for myself. I have put in efforts that only I can understand. I needa redeem them all. All this will be possible once I fucking crack the SSB. And one hell of a story to tell.

A.